Taking care of Self Versus Selfish

Let’s be honest – life gets tricky. Balancing home life and work life can be challenging, especially when you factor in other relationships. Regardless of what else is happening in your life, it is difficult at best to carve out time to truly take care of yourself.

Most people have a difficult time defining what self-care is to them. And in this harried, hustling world, it is often seen as selfish to take time and space for yourself. As a result, it’s difficult to maintain boundaries and standards for yourself and others. Consider the example of the oxygen masks on airplanes – you must put the mask on yourself before you can help others; otherwise, you’ll be unable to help. Taking care of yourself is imperative. It helps give you the energy to give back.

Not sure if you’re sacrificing self-care? Here are some signs that it’s time to reorganize:

  • You have little to no time for yourself
  • You feel defined by your job
  • You feel defined by your children: “Oh, you must be Joseph’s mom.”
  • You feel defined by your spouse: “Oh, you must be Ted’s wife.”
  • You struggle more than necessary because of trying to do it all
  • You are struggling in intimate relationships

By shifting your awareness, you shift your relational outcomes.

By increasing your overall awareness of your boundaries, your standards, your behaviours, and your expectations, you begin to transform your life. Shifting your current beliefs can create some amazing outcomes!

Instead of feeling frazzled and hurried, you’ll be able to live like you have more than enough time. Instead of feeling like a constant failure, you’ll be able to set yourself up for success. Rather than rushing through your day feeling like you have no oxygen, you’ll feel energized, with fresh air flowing regularly.

Of course, to make this shift, you may have to start out saying no to some things that you’d normally say yes to. But, by drawing that boundary line, you’ll begin to create space for meaningful self-care and better relationships.

What can I offer you as a coach?

  • First, I build a unique relationship with you.

    I promise - I don’t bite! We’ll be two peas in a pod soon enough. That relationship will help me provide you with an objective point of view.

  • As we work together, I’ll offer support.

    People make a hundred decisions every day, and not all of them are going to be the right one. I’ll be available for support and feedback.

  • More than just support, I’ll acknowledge your work and a job well done.

    You work hard. I will acknowledge and recognize the work you do. Everyone deserves a little praise!

  • I’ll be compassionate and help you focus on development.

    People look for a developmental process where they can measure their success.

  • Believe it or not, I’ll ask you to remove half of your responsibilities to make room for self care.

    Not only does that encourage your delegation skills, but it will also help you invest in developing the skills and capabilities of other family members.

Learn More About Me

Everything you do in a relationship is a pure investment in another person. You neither get nor deserve anything in trade for what you do. Take that in for just a moment. How often do we run relationships with a scorecard? Rather than expecting a trade of sorts, you must see everything you do as an investment in a lifelong relationship. And, just like with any other investment, you may or may not get a return – the return could even be several years down the road. You do what you do in relationships because it is how you operate in relationships. Consider your personal code of ethics. Define which consistent behaviours produce the results you want in every way, feeding your heart and soul.

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